I guess i'll give a brief background, without too much detail...hopefully (I'm leaving our names out. My husband name will be known as 'H', my baby girl is 'BG' and I guess mine well be 'W' if it comes up)
My husband and I are from 2 different states. We met in my home state through a friend that he grew up with. I knew her going through a graphic design program at a different university down the street from H's school. He was going to school pursuing a Bachelors in Psychology. He told me he never was sure what to get into so he picked Psychology. He looks back at it now and wishes he would have pursued med school. He says that if his mom would have influenced him, he would have gone through with it. I would agree but if he was in med school, he would have been going to a university out of my state. So there was no way we would have met. Funny how things work out.
Med school has always been in the back of his mind. It's in his blood. His father was a well known doctor and head of his med school class at the time. Unfortunately, H was unable to get career advice early on from his father. He passed away from cancer when H was young. His mom had to go back to nursing school to provide for her 3 kids. She had a lot on her plate. I think if she would have known he wanted to pursue med school, she would have pushed him like he wanted?
We both came from single moms and a past. My mom never was keen on the idea of our dating life. In her eyes, she had a perfect man in mind for me. Unfortunately for her, she's not me :) After dating H for some time, my relationship with my mom faded. It was out of control. I don't want to get into detail but if she treated me the way she did when I wasn't dating H, I would have left home a long time ago. I was 23, living at home, with my younger brother and my dog. I came from divorce and had 2 other brothers I rarely communicated with. My relationship with my dad faded long before my mom's and I's. Again, there is so much to my family story that I think it'll be best to leave it out. I could go on and on. Maybe for another blog entry I will.
Anyway, we met soon after H was done with school. He was planning on leaving after graduation to go home. Once we got serious he stayed to 'pursue' me :) haha. H proposed after a couple of months of dating. We were head over heels for each other! Still are to this day :)
We moved cross country to his home town to get married and start a new life. We needed change and moving away from my family drama was necessary for our relationship to work out.
After returning from our honeymoon, we moved in with H's family friends for several months until we could get back on our feet. We both found jobs and started our lives. H started working at a clinic as a scheduler for a year before moving up to become what he is now, doctor's secretary. I worked in Net ops up until I had our baby girl last year. Now I work PT from home. I am very blessed to be able to make some kind of income and stay home with our little girl.
During that first year of our marriage, med school came up a few times. I was weary of the idea because it meant almost 10 years of our lives of him studying. I guess it's not that long but reality was , I just didn't want to lose him to books. I was afraid of stupid things that are too ridiculous to even mention! My main concern, I was living in a new place, no friends, no money to afford it, no idea how to come back from my terrible family situation and now I have to decided to lose my new husband to books for the next 10 years!? Being selfish, I turned down the idea numerous times. Is that selfish though? I look back and I really don't know. Im sure someone would say I was selfish for not thinking of our further in the long run.
H wasn't sure on the idea anyway so it assured me that it wasn't a dream of his. He would mention other career options for him. Ex, chef(random), MBA in health admin, or even sticking as a secretary. We didn't talk about med school for a while. We both focused on working and making enough money to enjoy ourselves. We had a blast the first 2 years of our marriage! Road trips, amusement parks in Orlando, beach time and whatever we wanted! Then came the game changer...
We were pregnant! All good things of course :) Our darling little girl was coming into our lives! We had no plans for kids right away so it was a shock. We'll never regret it though. She is the best thing that has happened to the both of us!
During the end of my pregnancy, H decided it might be a good idea to invest in a home. Sounds crazy.. We've only been married for 2 years and starting a family? With a home? wha? I wasn't sure on the idea because I was afraid of taking care of it or being able to even afford it after I stopped working. I was use to renting! It turned out, 2 bedroom apartment was more expensive then our mortgage! So we went for it! We ended up living back with family and saving up for a down payment. Who would have thought we would be back where we started our marriage. Love our family!!
So with 2 weeks before our BG was due we moved into our new home. For honesty sake, the home buying process Suuuucks..... add being 8 1/2 months pregnant to that and you have a mental breakdown. It all worked out though. She ended up coming a week early on good ole Hallo's eve :) Spooky....
Crazy as it was, everything worked out for the best! H's job was going good and our new addition was as healthy as could be! As the months past, H and I had a serious talk about the future. H was debating the idea of an MBA for a while but I could tell he was not thrilled about the career choice. Working for doctor's, he realized he was meant for something more. He even admitted sometimes he had more smarts on occasion then his actual doctors.
H is a brillant man. He came from an intelligent family. H is meant for more then sitting behind a desk assisting doctors. I knew it from when first got his job. How can I deprive him of his passion? I say passion because as I learned early on, he had the drive, the skills, the mind, the but was waiting for the 'okay' from me. How terrible am I to say no to his dream? Im curious if they're any other wives out there that have said no completely to med school and the life that follows.
Once we finally decided, H got enrolled in a community college close by and is taking 2 night classes this fall. Unfortunately, he will be gone 3 nights out of the week. I think we calculated his pre-med's lasting for at least 3 years. He just needs his science and math classes. So far, he is also able to work FT as well. Very big blessing for us. With the way my work is going, the hours are slim and daycare is too expensive. Hope he can continue doing so for the next 3 years.
That's the current situation now. As the weeks come closer to the semester, I'll start writing more about what it's like with him working, doing night courses, homework, etc. With him in class 3 nights a week, I feel a little overwhelmed taking care of our daughter and a new house. H will be missing out. I guess when you look at it, we still have 2 nights during the week and weekends, so it's not too bad. I have been taking care of her while he's at work anyway so it shouldn't be as bad I as think it'll be.
We'll, I have nothing really else to add except, wish us luck! We have a long road ahead. I know this is just a smidgen of what our life is going to be like for the next 10 years :)
oh haha - forgot to mention that H doesn't want family/friends to know about him pursuing med school. So this blog really shouldn't seen by many :)
oh haha - forgot to mention that H doesn't want family/friends to know about him pursuing med school. So this blog really shouldn't seen by many :)
